I love you more than bacon!

I get an eclectic array of spam following me on Twitter. "International bagpipe guru?" Really?

I'd rather do this than wash out my colon

Disregard the fact that my Facebook is auf deutsch. Just tell me why I get Groupon offers for "colon hydrotherapy treatments" instead of something this amazing. Where in Detroit do I need to go to make this happen? 

This Day In History: November 30, 2008

Cameron is a Photoshop kitty.

Who?

My newest item on Etsy, the Who? Owl, is a 11" x 14" print that still makes me laugh.

But then, I'm easily amused.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/87140537/who-owl-11-x-14-photograph

This Day In History: November 20, 2010

One year ago today, I came across a chalkboard and did what I had to do.

"I've peed alone my whole life."

Some of my friends are tired of hearing me talk about how much I love Community. But I do. And trust me, if Britta and Abed had a love child and Troy was the creepy "uncle," I would be that love child. See for yourself.

The Chemical Brothers - Galvanize

This Day In History: October 21, 2006

Five years ago today, I was still settling into my first apartment. My roommate and I split the cost and bought a 55 gallon fish tank and we found ways to personalize it.

Namely, I gutted my malfunctioning NES and created an aquarium decoration.

We had a plethora of fish, from mollies to oscars, but we started with a pleco and two mean angelfish.

And  then I moved somewhere else and the fish tank has been sitting in my dad's garage ever since.

The 40°F Irish Wedding

My cousin got married earlier this month. I wish I had known it would be an outdoor wedding so I could dress more appropriately for a windy October day off a lake in Michigan, but... I got some nice pictures out of it.

Mmmm, delicious October

I hate not knowing what to write about.

Pray here for the Tigers & Lions!

Flipping through the channels between the Lions and Tigers games (oh my!), it reminds me of a photograph I took in February, 2006, of the church in Detroit next to Comerica Park and Ford Field.

The Great Stormy Oakland County Power Outage of 2011

A few weeks back, a massive storm tore through the area and left thousands of people without power. Trees were everywhere, lines were down across many cities and my neighborhood was a mess.

Across the street from me. The tree was long enough to scrape the gutter when it fell but otherwise, the house was fine.

Hey neighbor, want a tree?

Telephone pole and electrical wires down.

The space between these two houses was once filled with tall, beautiful trees. They were cut down years ago and I was always upset about that... until now, because that would have caused some serious damage.

They probably didn't need that garage anyway.

A new view of the sky that's not blocked with as many trees.

I applaud them for trying, I guess.

I went about 48 hours without power. Break out the cat candles!

There are cat balls in this video.

Stuart was playing with a milk cap ring and somehow managed to slide it under the kitchen rug. Hilarity ensues.

Now that I have a cell phone that records video, expect plenty more videos like this.

The most accurate way I can describe depression

Imagine you’re alone in a movie theater. You can feel the vast emptiness of the unoccupied seats surrounding you, but there’s also the confinement as if you’re sitting in a closet. The air conditioning is working at full power; all you’re wearing is shorts and a t-shirt. No movie is playing. Instead, it’s a loop of those awful advertisements they play before the previews. You have a large Coke and it’s flat and warm. The ground is so dirty and sticky that you’re stuck and cannot move. And the only snack at the concession stand is Jujubes.

This is what depression is like and it never seems to end.

The MFCEO of K-Swiss

I mentioned Danny McBride's Eastbound & Down character, Kenny Powers, in a previous post. This mindlessly intelligent K-Swiss advertisement embodies everything Kenny Powers has come to be.

This is not at all safe for work.

Harris Pest Control

I wish I had more background information on this video, but the best I can say is that 1) the 313 area code means it is/was based out of Wayne County, Michigan and 2) it gets stuck in my head each time I watch it.

In case you missed it: 30 Minutes Or Less

            For my 26^th birthday last week, I was taken out to the movies and got to pick what I wanted to see. I chose 30 Minutes Or Less, which I hadn’t even heard of and knew nothing about save Danny McBride had a role in the film. And let me tell you: I’m glad I saw it.

            It’s a comedy about a pizza delivery boy who is strapped to a bomb and forced to rob a bank. Even I thought that was a morbid concept, considering that’s actually happened and the delivery guy DIED. But it really had no parallels to the real life event. It did have “that’s what she said” jokes, though! I can always support that.

            What really made me giddy was discovering the movie is set in Grand Rapids, MI. I always love local stuff on the big screen (local being a relative term for a city a couple hours away). There’s a really neat poster of Michigan that’s displayed in a few scenes that I’d like to get for myself. The movie was shot on location in Grand Rapids save for one scene in Ludington.

            Jesse Eisenberg has the lead role as the delivery boy. I’ve never seen The Social Network. I don’t think I’ve seen him in anything. But he was good, I liked him. He gave off a real Michael Cera vibe, except 50% less awkward. Aziz Ansari is also great. Very animated. I’ve seen some of his stand up material and it mesmerized me. That’s what he was like in this movie. And, oh, Danny McBride. I know him from Eastbound & Down as Kenny Powers, and that’s essentially the character he played, except sans mullet. For example (not safe at all for work):

            Without giving away spoilers, I have some issues with the movie and its logic. I’d stop just shy of calling it a movie targeted toward stoners, but there’s no denying more effort was spent in making it funny than realistic. That’s okay, I just hate walking away with unanswered questions and, worse yet, thinking about how I would have done things if I were in that situation. But if they had done what I would have done, there would be no movie.

            But it was cute and it made me laugh a lot.

            (That’s what she said.)

I'm not lazy, I just live in 1998

Just a brief little explanation: I don't always get the chance to blog or comment on other people's posts because I don't have the Internet at home. I follow people I enjoy and I read their blogs when I can. Often, my posts are scheduled so I can at least appear to be on frequently, but that's not usually the case. Just throwing that out there so no one misinterprets it as something else!

Obviously, you're not a golfer.

"You know... For someone who complains about how much she 'hates the fucking Eagles,' you sure do listen to a lot of Don Henley."

- An ex-boyfriend who clearly was out of his element

Game Time: Detroit Tigers v. Cleveland Indians; June 14, 2011

Here's a photo intense post about my group trip to the Detroit Tigers game a few weeks ago. I've had this post saved in a draft for two weeks so I'm not even going to bother captioning the pictures. I think they're rather self-explanatory. And if background information is desired, refer to She Is Sara's post here!